remember.

If you asked me what day of the year is both my favorite and also my absolute least favorite day ever, I would tell you it's September 11.

I hate this day.

I wake up on this day every year with such a complexity of emotions it almost becomes overwhelming. I obsess over watching hours of 9/11 footage on the History Channel. Every year, it's what I do. The melancholy feeling hangs over me for the entire day, seeping deep into every crevice of my heart. It sinks further and further as I learn the stories of individuals. Individuals who turned into heroes. Individuals who sat inside the tower and huddled together to share a cell phone and call their families to say goodbye.

Individuals who woke up on a sunny morning and went to work, and between 102 minutes later found themselves saying goodbye to this life.

Saying goodbye.

I watch the stories. I learn the names. I take it all in until the emotions build up and I find myself in tears. Every year, it happens. I cry for our country. I cry for the people on the planes. I cry for the people who waited for help but no help came. I cry for those who jumped because they saw no other way out, so they flew to the pavement at 200 miles per hour. I cry for the fireman and the police, who fought so hard to save lives yet felt so helpless. I cry for the families who had to watch it all on the news, just praying for the night to come and to see their loves one walk in the door. I cry for everyone I've lost. I cry because I remember.

In a time like now, I consider us a country divided. Democrats and Republicans, Obama supporters and Romney supporters. We make cutting remarks and don't consider the individual.

But on this day, that always seems to change.

On this day, eleven years ago, this nation came together. We did it because we had to. We did it because we had a point to prove. We had to prove that we are America. And just because they took lives, does not mean they would take our freedom. Just because they destroyed buildings, does not mean they would destroy hope.

Does not mean they would ever, ever, destroy the United States of America. That is the only reason why this day, as dreadful as it is to me, is that important.

I wasn't in New York on 9/11. I didn't know anybody in the towers. I only know people who knew people. But when I think of lives lost, I think of people I've lost. And the grief becomes more real. I think of how, even though I lost them, I had time. I got to say goodbye. I saw it coming. I didn't wake up on a sunny morning and 2 hours later have my world turned upside down. I think of how despite all that, I still always thought I would have more time. I think that's something we can all relate to, and that's why we came together and come together every year.

September 11 reminds me of how fragile things can be. It reminds me how fragile life is. How important the little things are. Because when those people in those towers knew they were going to die, they were stripped down to life's basics: saying goodbye, saying "I love you", saying "thank you." The transcendent truths, and they had to be in a burning building to come to them. So on this day, let's not wait until smoke has filled our lungs and we find ourselves at the lip of Hell to appreciate life. Life is too fragile. That's why I hate this day so much. It reminds me of tragedy and grief and loss and how everything seems so temporary and breakable.

But here is why it is also one of my favorite days:

It reminds me of being fragile, yes, but it also reminds me of strength. It reminds me of the fireman and policeman, knowing what they were about to enter when they walked into those two buildings but entering anyway. It reminds me of individuals trapped in the towers whose only worries became getting  other people out. It reminds me of the couple who held hands as they jumped the tower, together. Colleagues, lovers, strangers, no one knows. But they held hands, and they jumped. It reminds me of Orio Palmer, a fireman who climbed over twenty flights to reach people trapped in the mayhem, only to have the tower collapse on him too. It reminds me of the families of those lost who will still sit in front of a camera and talk about it because they believe its a story that needs to be shared. It reminds me of the way every American became better because of it. How we were knocked down but we didn't stay down for long.

That is why I like this day. That is why I pour over the hours of stories even though I've seen every one of them year after year. It reminds me that as human beings we have this innate ability to cope, to endure, and stand.

We stand. We remember. And we always love.

Let me answer the question everyone is asked on this day: do you remember where you were when it happened?

It's one of the most vivid memories of my childhood. I had just woken up to go to school. I remember I had slept in my parents' room the night before. I walked out and saw the tower smoking. I was 7 years old and too young to really understand what was happening, I'll admit. But I remember feeding off of everyone else's fear as we watched the chaos on the news. I remember teachers at school, crying as they explained. Crying as they talked about people they knew who were there. I remember my Dad telling me "Don't you ever forget this, because this, is going to change everything." Now, all I remember about this day every year is remembering. We forget so easily until the day rolls around again.

So here's what I say.

No matter what your political party, your opinions on our government, you remember this. Remember how it was the first time in a long time that our country united. Remember the way the precariousness of life became so real to every single on of us, and how it changed, and continues to change, every year on this day, the way we live. The way we treat each other. Remember to say "I love you," because that person may wake up tomorrow morning and go to work and that's the last you'll ever see of them in this life. Remember to treat people the way we all treated each other on this day eleven years ago. Remember the firefighters and the cops who selflessly entered the inferno. Remember our soldiers today who enter the inferno of war to protect our freedom. Remember to love. Remember to be kind. Remember to laugh. Remember to live. 

Remember September 11, 2001. And never forget.