summer fever.

I caught my dose of summer fever this past Friday. I didn't know I had it until then.

One of my roommates, Hannah, is from the roaring metropolis of Cokeville, Wyoming. Graduating class of Cokeville High 2012? Sixteen people. SIXTEEN.

Anywho, a lot of people from her hometown go to USU and they were having a bonfire up Green Canyon. I've got to hand it to those small town kids: they know a thing or two about fire.

She and I got a couple of the guys from our building to tag along as well. Probably two of the funniest guys I will ever meet. Anyway, the bonfire was AWESOME. It was in this little cave up the canyon. Not a big enough cave for one to go hike through or anything, but the perfect alcove for a fire. A trail of glowsticks led the way from the parking lot to the cave. (we didn't realize they were meant to mark the trail at first and almost took them....oops.) (and may or may not have taken them on our way back to the car....haha...shhh.....) The fire was massive. It was one of those  fires that made our little group of friends have to rotate our circle to prevent one person from being in the heat for too long. Because it was hot. (probably because I was there... right? right?)

The cave was up a really steep hill. Getting up was a struggle, as there was A LOT of snow on the ground, and Hannah and I were even more worried about the way down, being the clumsy, accident-prone humans that we are. Our solution? We slid on our butts down the mountain. Our wet butts were completely worth the slide; it was so fun! And we're clearly very easily entertained. I'd say life's more fun that way, though.

After the bonfire, the four of us wanted to go see a movie. We came back to the apartment to look up movies. But it was about midnight, and we forgot about the minor detail that movies don't play past ten in Logan. Right. So, we decided to look at Redbox. Well, Redbox had nothing, except for Breaking Dawn Part 2, which Hannah and I would've been fine with, but in the words of the boys "or we could take spoons and scoop out our eyeballs." No go. Finally, we realized we have Skyfall, the new James Bond movie. None of us had seen it but all wanted to, so we decided on that.

Not before a 1 A.M. McDonald's run. Did you know Micky D's is a HAPPENIN' place up here at one in the morning? Who knew? Chalk it up to being a college town, I guess. I was so happy to get my fill of some Micky D's fries, a large coke, and the Spicy McChicken sandwiches. Plain, of course. If you haven't tried it, you simply must. It's a gift directly from the fast food gods. Your stomach and intestines may be mad at you about an hour afterwards, but your tastebuds will never not thank you. It's worth the price.

We put in Skyfall at, like, 2:15. We watched it on the big, ghetto, bigscreen tv named Delilah in the boys' apartment. It has huge curvy blue lines in it. I'm pretty sure 2001 called and asked for it back already. Our 18 inch 5 dollar tv from the D.I. would've been better. Oh, well. College life. Slowly, everyone else watching it trickled out to go to bed. Wimps. It came down to just me and corey, until the movie ended around 4:45. The movie, by the way, was fantastic. It's definitely a must-see. I haven't even seen Casino Royale or Quantum Solace yet, and it left me wanting to go watch them for more taste of the Daniel Craig greatness. Go watch it. It is excellent. Anyway, having no sense of self-preservation, we still stayed up for another hour talking. Which brought me to the record for the latest I've stayed up thus far in college: 6 a.m. (Yes, I DID regret that at work the next day. As I'm sure my coworkers did as well, as they dealt with the cranky tired Megan rather than the deliriously tired Megan. ) But it reminded me of many summer nights. Which is why I now suffer from summer fever.

 I didn't realize how much I longed for summer until I found myself giddy with excitement as we were winding our way up and through the canyon for the bonfire. I was even excited to have my clothes wreak of campfire smoke when we got home that night. Or until that run to McDonald's reminded me of countless summer night runs to the Wendy's on 45th in Salt Lake for Frostys and spicy chicken nuggets. Or until I stayed up until 6 in the morning, having absolutely no cares in the world.

Yes, I long for summer. I long for its lazy days and carefree nights, when the world kind of stops for a little while and your only concern is choosing what to do from a long list of choices because the world is yours. I can't wait for campfires and campfire smoke and starry skies and lying in the backyard and morning runs and reading a book underneath the Aspen out front stretched out on a blanket. The fever has set in. Hopefully I don't spread it!

Give me summer nights with good company. And do it soon.

 Brock and Corey and the smolder. 

 my wonderful roommate!

 I LOVE her. 

 Yes, it's normal for Corey not to smile in pictures. he was happy, i swear. 

 ...at least I think he was.

for ashtyn.

It's been a long time since I last posted. Too long. But I can no longer delay what I've been putting off the past few days.

Ashy.

My mom's side of the family are the Poulsens. Every Poulsen child, grandchild, and great-grandchild is unique. But we were all born with one thing that unites us:

Fire.

The Poulsen fire. The fire that Ted Poulsen brought with him into the South Pacific to fight the Japanese in World War II. The fire that Gayle Birrell Poulsen used to help her cope with the loss of her newborn son, and to get her through the long nights worrying for her husband's safe return from war. The fire that gave them the courage to start a family, the reason why my mom, aunts and uncles, cousins, siblings, nephews, and cousins children are here.

Yes, every Poulsen is born with fire. And every one of us has used that to keep us burning in even the darkest of times.

But, I don't think any of us were prepared for this.

I was six years old when sweet Ashtyn Poulsen was born. She's one of my older cousin, Jason's, daughters. But in our family, cousins' kids are just as much cousins as any to us. When Ashtyn was younger, I remember her to be the sweetest little girl I had ever met. Quiet and reserved at times. She has this old soul quality, this hidden maturity that often gives her the wisdom to only speak when she has something really important to say. As she has grown, gotten a Facebook, caught the Bieber fever, entered the temple for the first time, and become more beautiful every day, she has kept that same sweetness but added to it her own special fire.  Some Poulsens' fire is explosive, volcanic. Obvious when you very first meet them. But Ashtyn is different. Special. Hers is less like a wildfire and more like the flow of molten rock deep beneath the surface of the Earth. Too deep to feel the heat of it right away, but it moves unstoppably all the same, changing the foundations of the world with its advance. This is the fire possessed by Ashtyn Susan Poulsen. 

Ashtyn became even more special on January 31, 2013, when she was diagnosed with Leukemia. Specifically, "undifferentiated" or "ambiguous" leukemia. It is a very rare, high risk form of leukemia that is neither A.L.L. or A.M.L. The doctors are putting together treatment that will treat the cancer as if it's A.M.L.

I remember my mom texting me to tell me Ashtyn was sick and in the hospital; that worst case scenario, she would have Leukemia. Of course I hoped for that not to be the case, but when she said that I somehow knew it would be. My heart broke to hear that a Spirit so pure as Ashtyn could have something so awful happen to her, at such a young age. "She's only twelve, for crying out loud!" I yelled at my roommates. I thought of how cancer took our Grandma Gayle, and Barb, and I thought, how unfair. How unfair that it is always the purest spirits that have to bear the burden of cancer.

But the immediate thought following was, of course it would be Ashtyn. Not because she's ever done anything wrong, but because she has done everything RIGHT. Only Spirits such as her can look cancer right in the face, and let it change her for only the better. It will not leave her bitter. It will not leave her in darkness, no. She will rise above it and become an even more amazing young woman than she already is. She is strong. She is loving. She is kind. She is faithful. She is full of light.

She is on fire. And her fire is the kind that can fight such a battle as the one she will now have to fight against Leukemia. And that battle is going to teach her more about the Lord and the Savior's mercy in this short period than the rest of us will know in a lifetime. While it teaches her, she in turn will teach us as a family, as well as everyone she touches with her light, the power of God's love.

Cancer should know better than to mess with a Poulsen. She is going to kick its butt! 

Ashtyn, the road looks rough ahead. There will be many bumps and bruises along the way. But as you put your faith in God and in the Savior, He will heal you. He has already felt your pain. He has already suffered your sorrow. He knows, in a way no one else will ever know, the emotions you will feel now and in other tribulations life will bring. And He will help lift you up and make you feel peace, and joy. I know things may not make sense now, and they may not make sense until the pain you experience is simply a memory. But it will. And the joy you will experience after enduring it will be something none of us can possibly imagine! It's just like one of my favorite scriptures, D&C 58: 3 says:

"Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation."

You can't even imagine, darling girl.

The Poulsens are tighter than most. We have this knowledge of how precious life is that cannot be compared, along with an unwavering faith in God. We remembered it best when our sweet grandma died (thought I wasn't alive yet at the time), and again when our sweet, firey, Grandpa Poulsen passed away. But just as humans do, we often slip back into the routine of our everyday lives and forget. Ashtyn, already, has helped us to remember. Through this trial we will never again forget to go a day without saying "thank you" and "I love you." We will always remember the importance of love, of faith, and of family. 

I'm thankful for this opportunity the Lord has given us all to learn, become better, and rely on Him. I'm thankful for the example every person in my family sets for me. I'm thankful for Ashtyn's mom, Suzanne, and for the strength and positivity she is showing for us and especially for her daughter. I'm thankful for her words of faith she's been posting since this all happened.

Most of all, I'm thankful for Ashtyn. Ashtyn, thank you for your kind Spirit you have always shown me. Thank you for helping us remember. Most of all, thank you for teach all of us what true strength and pure love is. Just lik you posted on your facebook a couple of days ago, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." And you are going to be the strongest Poulsen yet. You've got this, baby girl!

Keep that flame burning, because it is going to set the world on fire. 

 "Don't give up. Don't you quit. you keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead-- a lot of it. You keep your chin up. It will be allright in the end. Trust God, and believe in good things to come. Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until Heaven. But for those who embrace the Gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." -Jeffrey R. Holland 

JOIN ASHTYN'S ARMY!!!! LEARN MORE ABOUT ASHTYN AND JOIN HER ARMY HERE:

http://ashtynstriumph.com/

AND HERE: 

http://awesomeashtyn.blogspot.com/